I’m an authority, on knowing I don’t know everything, about anything, I would never say I know more than anyone else, that I do know. I also know, that people who know everything never do, and people that know nothing, know they know nothing, so they do know something. So I know that I’m right, if I know anything, it’s not nothing, it must be something I know, but I don’t know what it is. Maybe I’m an authority on knowing, I don’t know.

Here’s something I do know a bit about, pies!

Pies.

The football match got to half time,

The fans they all queued up in line,

But only sandwiches an apple and a pear,

This was no good, what was this kind of fare?

They all walked out of match that day,

Without their favourite food, there’d be no match no way.

It was the situation, all nation wide,

Football was failing side after side.

Christmas was coming the goose getting fat,

But, no pork wrapped in pasty, for the family and cat.

The butchers could not source the  pastry so porky,

Christmas was consigned to past history.

Shepards came home from tending their lambs,

But all they had to eat was salad and hams.

No scalding hot meat with potato on top,

Without their favourite shepherding would stop.

Not only big business was starting to fall,

Cottage industry also was going to the wall,

Family business without their beloved repast,

All the little mesters a thing of the past.

They say an army marches on its stomachs,

But without their steak and kidney, they went back to their barracks.

With no soldiers to protect us, and make sure all was well,

Our great and glorious country was going all to hell.

Our government they’d promised to fulfil our wishes,

They’d soon restore our much longed for dishes.

But of course all this was just jam tomorrow,

Nothing was forthcoming, it filled all with much sorrow.

No one believes our politicians, no more.

No one had hope or anything to work for,

Britain was done now, a dead lion surrounded by flies,

All because of a big lack of pies.

Meadowhead Bard.

”Little mesters is I believe (I don’t know for sure). Is a Yorkshire term for one man businesses, cutlers etc. Politicians of course that bizarre creature that only lies when it opens its mouth, but I don’t know that for sure either.