Ok then this is the big one. I’ve been waiting for this prompt to come round. This is a short story I wrote, at the time the Conservative Party were last in power here in the UK, and were trying to claw back money lost in the pandemic. It was the budget and I watched on tv as chancellor Rishi Sunak announced that the triple lock for the state pension was to be withdrawn for that year, this after inflation had soared to a new high After Sunak’s announcement, he sat down with Prime Minister Boris Johnson, and they smirked at other, this absolutely turned my stomach, and I set about writing this little satire.
I’ve always been fascinated by the way Prime Ministers like to dress up as real people, plumbers etc, and the way particularly Johnson, said “I think” before nearly every statement, as if that covered him for a lie..
Please note, I am not a professional writer, my grammar and spelling will tell you that. Please forgive and enjoy the story.

Cast of main characters.

Dawn Trodden, as Pen Shiner and Sally Blower.
Iggy Nored, as Des Carded, and John Carpenter, Boris Johnson, As the Witch, Horace Bronson and Horace Nonsense.
Rishi Sunak, as Richy Scumsack.
Teresa Coffey as Terribly Comfy.
Trevor McDonald as Trepid Mc Donut.
Fiona Bruce as Fiona Bruise.
Guest staring Wayne Rooney as Lame Loony.
Pele as himself.

So this is my alternative universe.

The Lying Witch in the Wardrobe.

          Chapter 1 The Witch

      Penelope Shiner or Pen for short, opened her wardrobe and got a terrible shock. Stood there in front of her was a woman in a white overall.” I’ve come to mend your boiler” the odd being said sheepishly. “No you haven’t I don’t have such a thing” said Pen. Then the apparition was gone. Pen didn’t see it again for about a month. Then all of a sudden there it was again “I’ve come to mend your bicycle” it said, “no you haven’t I don’t have one of those either” said Pen. “Who are you really?” Asked Pen “I think I’m Horace Nonsense” said the witch, who’s real name was really Horace Bronson and actually a man, he just couldn’t help but lie, it was a habit of his like saying “I think” at the beginning of every sentence.

    Like most people in Pen’s world she just lived in the one room, in her case a tiny cottage.  No one had any money, they all lived on just the dry breadcrumbs that magically appeared every month, a bit of veg from a plot, Pen’s friend Des had developed, and a bit of pigeon meat, if Des caught one. Pen realised Horace or whatever it’s name was appeared once a month. So after 27 days Pen ensconced herself in her tiny home and made sure there was no way in for the strange creature. There she waited, and sure enough, on opening her wardrobe on the second try, there it was again, this time dressed as a bus driver. “I’ll ask you again” said Pen, “who are you, and what are you doing here?” “I think I’m the man in the moon” said Horace, “ and my sole purpose in life is to look after everyone”  Pen wasn’t stupid, she worked out that there was a correlation between the appearances of Horace and the bread crumbs, ergo it must be that he brings them. So about a week after Horace’s next visit, this time dressed as a baker, Pen pushed her old rags aside, Stepped into the wardrobe and found herself in another world. This world was totally foreign to Pen, huge sky scrapers filled the sky, massive self propelled vehicles spewing out plumes of smoke were everywhere, and there were dozens of flying machines above her head. Pen had heard rumours of such a place but didn’t really believe it existed. It seemed odd to Pen, That Horace could see into her world but couldn’t see the deprivation of it, and her people had an idea of this world but just couldn’t grasp the opulence here. The trouble with Pen was she saw things, not imaginary things, but things that were actually happening and it was getting worse, she was convinced things weren’t right, how come everyone she knew was poor and old, where were all the young people? Problem was though, no one else seemed to notice and she couldn’t seem to get through to them. 

           Pen ran back home, through her wardrobe which from this side looked like a yellow skip. Into her single room which now seemed so wretched. She sat and formulated the first stage of a plan. She would play Doris’s game and dress as one of them. She pulled out of her wardrobe the best clothes she could find, and set about making them look new and posh until her fingers bled, the effect wasn’t perfect, so she stuck on a big label that said “designer” and reckoned that would do the trick, she had seen such labels in the other world like Timmy Hill Finder, Feared Wish, and Clinging Pine. Pen had thought this was blatant advertising being paid for by the people that where already buying the products .

    Pen hadn’t told any of her friends, of her first visit to the land of opulence, they wouldn’t believe her, they were all in their own little world, they didn’t see things like Pen, but she planned to change all that once she had gathered more information and evidence.  

        So once Pen thought it safe, she didn’t want to run into that strange person Horace, she now thought of as Mr Ben, but not quite knowing why, Mr Ben if you’re too young to remember was a children’s TV show from the 1970s about a fancy dress shop, who’s customer Mr Ben, took on a different identity for every show. So, Pen stepped through her wardrobe for a second time.  She was buoyed by the knowledge that most people here were no cleverer than she, they were the kind of which it was said “he can’t even change a lightbulb” once Pen got over the shock of the place, and the lack of fresh air, she had to decide which way to go, so just picked the busiest looking street, she’d been walking for hours when she saw Horace or whoever he was , this time dressed in a bedraggled suit and Pen realised for the first time Doris was actually a man ! He’d just climbed out of a twenty foot black self propelled machine and was taking a bicycle out of the back of it, he got on it and started to ride, Pen ran as fast as her old legs would carry her. She didn’t have to run far, because after only a few metres the Horace, thing got off the bike, and entered a house with a big black door. Pen decided to wait and see where he would go next. Pen had waited a few hours, when the big black door opened, and Horace stepped out to a blaze flashes and  clicks from others who where also waiting. Horace got on his bike went just around the corner, threw the bike into the boot of the giant black machine, then climbed into the back of it, the huge vehicle then merged into a line of similar but not quite so large vehicles, the line moved so slowly, Pen could easily keep up and it was only about a kilometre before the big black machine stopped for Horace to climb out again and get on his bike. Five minutes and Horace dismounted his bike to more flashes and clicks, and entered a building called The Palace of Sinister. Pen followed him in, between massive columns, down long corridors, and into a massive room filled with green benches. The room was divided into two, the benches faced each other, there was a table between them with a big gold club on it. This place was apparently where the leaders of the Opulents met, soon the room began to fill with all kinds of strange people, Horace was there of course with a strange hairlike growth on his head, next to him a tall thin swarthy man, with legs like a goats and cloven hooves, He was the Right Horrible, Ricky Scumsack their chancellor, besides his weird appearance, pieces of paper were falling from his pockets and flying off in all directions. Others in the room were a Jacob-Reet-Smug, whose head appeared stretched and there was nothing behind his eyes, a female called Pretty Pathetic, she had a bewildered look and her her blouse was buttoned up wrong, others had no chins, and some had two faces. Soon it got very noisy, a bit like a school playground, Pen noticed although they were lying to each other no one actually used the word “liar”. Pens ears pricked up when she heard the word breadcrumbs, it appeared some in the room wanted to give the “Panshiners” more breadcrumbs, but they were soon shouted down. The illiterates have never had so many breadcrumbs” shouted their minister for work and bread crumbs Teribly Comfy  “ If we give them any more, we will not have enough to feed the pigeons” Shouted Scumsack, So it was decided, no more breadcrumbs, for the illiterates, Pen had an inkling this included herself. Horace and Scumsack turned to each other and smirked. Next item on the agenda was Something called the Causan Effect, this was apparently a bad thing, and consensus had it, that the environment was changing because of it, resulting in heat waves and flooding etc. The debate got very heated at this point, it was suggested that people should give up their huge cars, and stop flying in aeroplanes etc, But loud cries of “shame, shame” went up ,and besides I do my own bit by cycling to work” said Horace ,and it was decided this should not be done, but rather cut back on the pollutants the illiterates and the workers, were causing. Penn didn’t realise at the time what “cars” and Aeroplanes were, she had a vague idea about the word worker but not much more than that. It was argued, that this would make hardly any difference, but that too was shouted down, and it was ordered that from now on the illiterates could only make tea with water heated to 50c. and they should not be allowed to toast their breadcrumbs. Pen had often wondered, why people in her world would just disappear after lighting a fire to keep warm, or even disappear after just passing wind, now she knew! As for the “workers” cutbacks would be even more extreme but Pen didn’t understand most of that. Another topic up for discussion, was the pay increase for Opulents leaders, this got through unchallenged. The meeting was winding down, time for Pen to make an exit, but not before she got her hands on some of those pieces of paper dropped by, Scumsack, she had an idea they may come in handy. Once out of the Palace of Sinister, Pen looked around for more evidence, of this extravagant place, she saw a discarded newspaper, and picked it up because it seemed somehow familiar. Pen then made her way back to the entrance to her world she climbed into the skip and out the other side through the the back wardrobe and into her room.

Chapter 2 Greed

       Millions of years before man set his dirty feet on Earth, something existed in the primeval dust, a kind of binary creature waited. Mathematics can’t lie, and neither could this minute entity. It was a kind of parasite, infecting any living thing it could, its name was Greed. Earth was not its first home, there had been several others, and Greed left them all devastated. Its first hosts were tiny early reptiles of little intelligence. Greed, made these tiny creatures grow exponentially, their tiny brains making it easy to inhabit them, Greed made these animals eat and eat, until they grew massive, we know them now as dinosaurs, two examples were the Borisosaurus, the Rishiaptor. We now know of course such animals were wiped out with a huge meteorite striking Earth. This left the Greeds homeless, they began to look for new hosts, and came across Homo Sapiens there were two main types, the clever creative ones that could make things like arrow heads, axes and utensils etc their brains far too active for the Greeds to get into. Then there  where the stupid ones, the ones that these days we say “he can’t change a light bulb” The latter were just right for Greed their brains being almost void of any creative thought, and once they inhabited these stupid proto  humans, they just got greedier and greedier, not for food like the dinosaurs, but for possessions eg, several cave homes, huge mammoths to ride on, their own private  giant birds to fly about on  and later of course  money.  There were of course Homo Sapiens between these two extremes, and they were affected to varying degrees. It was Greeds idea to invent money, it would make controlling the creative intelligent humans easier. Greed was a binary creature, it had the side effect of teaching its human hosts mathematics and the art of manipulating other humans to make money for it. Greeds hosts could pay with money for the things the creatives made, then sell them to other creatives for even more money, and so on. The next step for Greed was to invent tax so the creatives would have to pay twice for the things they created, and then banks, so the creatives could borrow money to buy the things their kind had made, and then pay interest for the privilege of it. It ended up that the creatives just ended up working for the Greeds, who then had total control, Greed inhabited humans could usually be identified by weird traits, such as weird hair that seemed to have a life of it’s own, others had no chins, and severely prarasatised ones had limbs like animals, whilst others just could  not speak properly saying words like “One” and “We” instead of “Me” Or “I” or “yar” instead of yes.  and some of them couldn’t take a bath, it had to be. “Barth”. Attempt’s of rebellion were made, we have all heard of the industrial revolution. Some of the creatives knew that if you got to call a Greed inhabited human a liar it would just explode, because the host could lie, and did so incessantly the Greed being a binary creature couldn’t, so it set up a kind of self conflict, and they just imploded. Measures where put in place of course to stop the Greed inhabited beings being called liars, things like “it’s not polite” etc. and of course early days people could be be killed, or disappeared for saying the fated word. The thing about Greed was it was passed down from host to host, and it just proliferated, because not only did it make people want more wealth and material goods, it also made people want more children, until it eventually controlled the world. All countries on our planet are different of course, and developed in different ways at different rates, so the effect of Greed varied, from continent to continent. 

Chapter 3 The Awakening

            Pen sat in her tiny cottage with her booty in front of her, unlike most of her counterparts in her world Pen had not forgotten how to read, she stared at the piece of paper that had come from Scumsacks pocket, it was about 12 centimetres long, 6 centimetres wide and had a picture of someone wearing a crown on it, the person had no chin, and odd eyes. Pen suddenly shouted to herself “It’s money” Then she turned her attention to the news paper, on the front page was a picture of a man with large ears stood next to one of those self propelled machines, the headline read “ man buys car for a Hundred million pounds enough to buy 500 medium sized houses ! “ It then dawned on pen the machines she had seen belching out all that smoke were called cars, reading further she also was reminded the flying machines were aeroplanes. How was it she had forgotten these things, yet remembered bicycles. She gradually pieced it all together. Work was something she used to do for money, until she got old, then everything changed, all she had after that were the breadcrumbs some fuel for a fire now and then, and a bicycle. The fuel didn’t come for long, then the bicycle disappeared. She got up to make some tea, heated the water in her little pan over three candles, she made her tea just as the water began to steam, she had just sat to drink it when in little man appeared, he wore a bowler hat carried a clip board in one hand and a little glass tube in the other, Pen was sure she wasn’t supposed to see him, so she sat still and waited, the little man came up to Pens table and put the little glass tube in her tea. “Who are you ?” Pen suddenly shouted, the little man jumped with surprise, stood still for a second, then said “ I’m the Elf and Safe Tea Inspector” then  “My job is to check the temperature of your tea. It’s ten degrees over you know, much more and I will have to report you “. Pen wasn’t surprised at anything now, she sat back down to drink her now cold tea.

          Pen was beginning to get an idea of what was happening, but she needed to bounce ideas off someone else, a friend. She though it had to be someone who wasn’t totally immersed in the distractions that seemed to blinker every one, first there was the betting, like which piece of crumbling furniture the fly would land on, or which raindrop would reach the bottom of the window first. Then there was “the screen” everyone had a screen, Pen couldn’t stand it and covered hers with a blanket, but to others it was their life. Because their lives were so boring and bled dry of real drama, they were addicted to virtual reality lives, of people that could afford to do exciting things, go on adventures and live! People worshiped the “Royal Family” a fictitious family of weird looking and weird talking people, who lived in huge houses, and traveled about in horse drawn carriages. There were inane games on the screen as well, where someone might win a full bag of breadcrumbs and the host pretended how brilliant it was. The very worst though where the dung beetle games, sometimes live but mostly on the screen. Two teams of dung beetles pushing a ball of dung up and down an area of ground with a pair of sticks at each end, if the ball of dung went between the sticks everyone would shout and scream. The beetles them selves were a hundred times better looked after than the people, treated like gods with plenty of food, a warm place to live, and piles of dung. The female beetles really loved throwing the dung at each other. She thought her friend Des Carded, might be her best bet to talk to about her strange encounters, he couldn’t stand the dung beetle games, but did succumb to the screen occasionally, pen thought she would talk to Des in the morning, and went to sleep, it was about 2am.

   Pen got up early next day she knew where Des would be, when they first found theirselves here, there was an abandoned community garden, at the end of the row of dwelling’s where Des had organised the growing of some vegetables. Des was there, poking at something in the ground, Pen shouted hi Des, Des looked up shielding his eyes from the low sun, and replied who’s that?” and Pen answered “Sally Blower” “who” answered Des, “oh sorry, I mean Pen Shiner” “ Oh hi Pen, what you doing up here so early, why did you answer with Sally Blower?” To answer your first question “I need to discuss something important without any distractions, from that  awful screen you stare at too often, and to answer your second question, I think Sally Blower is my real name!” “You’re bonkers he said, you’ve always been Penelope Shiner” “Ever since I’ve been hear she answered” “What’s that supposed to mean” said Des. “ It means at one time I had a proper life, a job and was respected, and further more I think you were the same” “I don’t understand said Des” Come let’s sit on this old log. “Now take a look at these” said Pen taking out the news paper and the note. At first Des said “where did you pick up this rubbish” “take another look at the little piece of paper” Pen said, “concentrate really hard” “ Its Money ! “ shouted Des ! “Now look at the other thing” Des Browsed through the new paper “ is this something to do with the things on the screen ?” “look on the back page” said Pen “They’re men kicking that ball, not dung beetles” “correct” said Pen “this paper is from another world, a world of wealth and comfort, or you may even say over indulgence and greed” “How do you know” I’ve been their” said Pen, “rubbish” said Des “we can’t go anywhere, we don’t even have bicycles anymore” “I’m telling you I’ve been there, twice in fact and you don’t need a bike to get there, I know I can get there through the back of my wardrobe, and If I’m right, you can get there through yours too” “Now you really are talking rubbish” said Des, “Tell you what” said Pen, “I’ll leave you to look at that pile of paper, I know you can read if you put your mind to it, and I’ll come back tomorrow, and we’ll talk some more” Des checked the pigeon trap, went home made himself a cup of tea made from dried dandelion leaves and water heated 50c via a recycled candle, sat and looked at the paper. Front page, man buys car for one hundred million pounds etc, what’s a car ? What’s a pound ? thought Des, turned a few more pages, people dressed in peculiar impractical clothes and more reference’s to large numbers of pounds. Des turned another page, a picture of someone holding a ball in front of a beautiful glass fronted oak cabinet, full of silver cups, Des wasn’t interested in the man, the ball or the cups, but that cabinet, what was it about that cabinet? “I’m John Carpenter!” Des shouted at the top of his voice. 

    Pen arrived at Des’s shack the next morning, “ so what do you think” said Pen. “ I don’t think I know !, I used to work with wood, and my real namei is John Carpenter, as for the other world though, I’m not so sure” “I can fix that” said Pen “but first, when do you normally get your breadcrumbs?” “On the fifth of each month” replied Des. “ OK then, on that day you need to just sit and wait, someone or something will appear with your breadcrumbs, do not speak to he, she or it, just watch.  

      “I read through all that paper, and one thing really made me laugh, do you think the wives and girlfriends of those human footballers throw shit at each other like their beetle counterparts?” said Des, “ probably” Pen answered “what shall we do about our names now we know who we really are?.” said Des, “I think we should stick with Des and Pen for now, changing our names  may raise suspicion” answered Pen “you’ve read all the paper, I’m going home now to study it myself, see if I can learn anything more, about this weird situation” “Would you like a cup of Dandelion tea before you go? asked Des, “ No thanks, I like mine hot not tepid, and I certainly don’t want to be disappeared” Pen then went home and read that paper word for word. She learned one thing  for sure, greed was  ruling everything, and anyone that did not add to the wealth of the Opulents was deamed  worthless, but she suspected, not everyone in  Opulance, for that’s what she now called it, were as greedy as the rest. Pen went to bed, and went straight to sleep, she was a good way to piecing the puzzle together.

    Pen spent a couple of days trying to rest, and remembered her other life, she remembered, she was quite a celebrity, at the very pinnacle of her craft, as an art glass maker and yet never felt rewarded. Private pensions were not really a done thing for working class people, but she did manage to save a little nest egg, but most of it disappeared when some chap called Blur with mad staring eyes started a Phony war with another country. She remembered also being married and having two children, where were they now?

 On the seventh of April, Pen went to see Des, to find out about the delivery of his breadcrumbs. Pen Knocked on the door, “come in Pen”he shouted, she entered, “I’ve  been waiting for you” “go on then, what happened?” says Pen. “Well I waited just like you said” “and” said Pen with a slightly raised voice “ he came ! marched straight out of my old wardrobe, plonked the bag of breadcrumbs on the table, had a good look around, and marched out again without a word” exclaimed Des, “just as I thought, didn’t see you did he?” and yet you were in plain view, what did he look like” a now quite exited pen questioned” Little fellow, wearing a bower hat, a black suit and shiny shoes” answered Des. “ Any distinguishing features, anything odd about his face, his legs, or anything like that?” questioned Pen “ no nothing, although I couldn’t see his legs for the suit, they looked normal enough” answed the now puzzled Des.” That’s strange, I thought he would be sans chin, have two faces or weird living hair” said Pen also now a bit puzzled. “Ok, you may as well explain it can’t get much weirder”

“Well” went on pen, “The weirdo that appeared in my wardrobe, had hair that looked like a living hay stack and always wore some disguise or other” Pen then went on to describe her visits to Opulence, and told Des about the strange traits she had seen in their leaders. “Now that is strange, sounds like a bit of a circus” commented Des, “Yeh, a circus crossed with a childrens playground” added Pen. “Aside from your visitor looking weird, and mine looking normal-ish, why do you think he didn’t see me? Quizzed Des, “ “ I think you’re invisible to them and I used to be, until I spoke to one of them, and I may be again if I keep my mouth shut. “ “ What do we do now oh great leader?” asked Des, “ I think we go pay our friends a visit, there’s clearly more we need to know” said Pen in a masterly voice, her old self gradually returning, but she had not yet remembered her shop steward days. How about Saturday? About 10am” answerd Des, “OK”says Pen, bye.

Chapter 4 Discoveries

Pen got to Des’s house early, Des was having a cold bath, so Pen waited outside, on Des’s ornately carved little bench. I’m ready shouted Des after ten minutes or so,” OK then let’s go, remember not a sound when we are over there,” “let’s try my wardrobe” said Des. So off they went, out of the back of Des’s wardrobe, it was quite a step down,  they looked back  to see what they had just exited, it resemembled the back of a lorry, Pen and Des  turned to each other and shrugged, and off they went, up the same busy street Pen had gone up, they were in there normal ragged clothes, but no one seemed to see them, they were even walked into a couple of times, but the bumpees, just looked around as if to say what was that? There were a lot of people around, Pen and Des listened in to their conversations, a lot of words seemed to crop up often, most popular were “like, so, cool and amazing” They got brave and went into a Coster Fortune coffee shop, packed with people, some with odd hair, or no chin, some talked that odd language, using “one” instead of “I” and now Pen noticed “yah” instead of yes, and the now familiar odd traits, they sat for a while, no one noticed them. People at the front of the queue saying “can I get a Coffee?” “can I get a croissant? “ but they didn’t, the staff behind the counter always got them! Another stare and shrug from Pen and Des. Lots of young women in that coffee shop, all talking with the exsesive use of those now familiar words. They heard one young woman construct nearly a whole sentence, of “like, yah, so, cool, oh my god and amazing” with almost no content between. Did you hear that girl? “ “Like  can I get a cake?, oh my god, like they’re so amazing, I’m like really, oh my god”, and so on. Young women with prams containing babies, often crying whilst their parents stared at some kind of device in their hand. Other young women, saying  I want a baby just like so and so off the TV? Pen and Des thought TV must be their version of their, screens. A lot of the men in that cafe, had odd designs etched into their skin, skulls and daggers, clothing cut away so they could be seen,  one man even had eyes  etched into the back of his  bald head. Pen and Des exited the cafe, back on the street, more odd behaviour people sucking on pipes like they were dummies. Habitual behavior was everywhere. Pen and Des made more general observations, there were less people with the odd traits than with, all the ones doing various jobs appeared perfectly normal, but the ones that did have traits just seemed to be parading arround and showing off there fancy clothes with advertisements on. There  were older people there but more of these had the odd features than didn’t. Time to head back, Pen gestured, they were about halfway back when they  saw a man talking to an odd looking woman, she was wearing trousers, but her bottom stuck out enough to rest a cup of warm dandelion tea on. She had long hair flowing over her shoulders, but Pen could just make out another face on the back of her head. Pen knew this woman she had seen her in that meeting place on her second visit, she was Teribly Comfy, Secretary of State For Breadcrumbs, The man asked her why are you not paying the pensioners enough to live on? “They have never been so well” off she answered, without an “ I think” at the beginning, then three things happened and one didn’t, Des suddenly shouted “liar” Nearby, a man with pointy ears, and a woman were having an argument, the woman acusing the man of sleeping with her sister, the man, collapsed in a heap on the floor, Teribly Comfy, started to smoke then melted into a pool of slime, Across the street another interview was being conducted, something to do with football, the interviewee had a long head, blank eyes and talked with  a boring monotonous drone, “I think we need to score more goals if we are going to win” he said and then didn’t collapse into a heap! The guy that was interviewing Comfy, saw Des and Pen for an instant, they were frozen in fear, then they disappeared again.

      So Pen and Des, trudged their way home, climbed into the dust bin lorry, out the other side into Des’s shack. “ I thought we’d had it there for a minute, why did you suddenly shout liar ? Anything would have been bad, but that word is definitely taboo to them” an angry Pen said in a slightly raised voice. “ Sorry I was so angry, what she said was just a blatant lie, so what did you make of it then Oh wise one? and was that what I thought it was we went out of, and then just came back in through? “ asked Des, yes I believe it was a “local refuse collection operations vehicle” Bin lorry then? Yeh. “So! Whoops sorry. I’m guessing, their are two kinds of people over there, the weird looking ones, with their odd hair, facial features etc, and the more normal ones, not too sure about the weirdos, but the more normal ones seem to be like sheep they see or hear something and just have to copy it, like that “can I get” thing, it sounds so rude, what happened to “please may I have ?” All those other words too, like, so, amazing, cool, repeated over and over again, but one word we never heard except from you DES was , liar, apparently the weirdo’s don’t like it, when you shouted it, one of them collapsed in a heap presumably  because he’d lied to his wife or girlfriend that was with him. the nasty female  imploded, did you notice the other weirdo though, the guy talking football, why he didn’t desolve or collapse, because he didn’t actually lie, he just made an inane comment “ we need to score more goals if we are going to win” So here  goes, this is my theory, the weird ones with all their odd traits, have most of the wealth and all the power, the others just follow like sheep, aspiring to everything the weirdos have, and they are the ones that provide the weirdos wealth. As for the likes of us, we are no longer of any use, shoved into this place and invisible, just fed on enough scraps to keep us alive and nothing else. We were somehow brainwashed when we came hear, to forget all that we were, and then fed distractions to stop  us remembering, we’ve been away from those distractions a few weeks now, and look what we’ve remembered and are still remembering. I wouldn’t mind betting there are similar places, where maybe younger people, that can’t work, and provide wealth for those greedy things, are put. It says a lot about what they think about us, the entrances to which we were sent hear resembles a skip and yours a bin lorry.  “What are we going to do now then Oh Mighty One ?” said Des.” I think think we ought to have an early night and reconvene tomorrow. Good night Pen Good night Des.

Chapter 5 The Man

The guy that was cheating on his wife, was called Rich Banker, when he collapsed in the street an ambulance was called, and Rich was taken to hospital, his wife still cared enough to go with him. Rich was very weak, and disoriented, but he gradually recovered, his wife came to see him every day, he told her how sorry he was, he didn’t know what had gotten into him, he just wanted more of everything, money, power, sex, everything! Various work colleagues, stock brokers etc visited also for papers to sign, advise on what to do with this and that financial investment. Rich didn’t want any thing to do with it, he’d totally lost interest! He’d been in hospital a couple of days, doctors couldn’t  find any thing wrong. Then one day his wife came in, “What’s happened to your ears? “ What do you mean” He asked, “ The points have just whizzened she said” “ I don’t know, that’s odd!” He told her again how sorry he was, and was to sign 99% of his wealth to her, to do with as she wished, he advised her though, to use it to help others, it had nearly distroyed  him, and he didn’t want the same to happen to her. “But, what are you going to do, she said” “As you know I once had an interest in art, and doing portrates, but just seemed to loose interest, greed just took over, so I think I will try and make a go of it “. That’s exactly what he did, but he never got greedy again, and was satisfied with the simpler things in life.

Chapter 6 More Greed

The less creative the human the more greed took over, in the worst cases, the host would die, if he was called a liar, if however  the parasites did  not have complete control, the host may survive, and even recover to become a decent human being.

Chapter 7 the Epiphany

           Des turned up at Pens cottage about 10 am “good morning dear heart” he said “ shall I make a warm tea? “  asked Pen “Yes please” They Sat around Pen’s little table.    “Last night when I was trying to get to sleep” I remembered a line from a song, it went “ Well God is in his heaven and we all want what’s his, but power and greed and corruptible seed, seem to be all that there is” I think it was Bob Dylan, It’s the seed bit, strikes a chord, can’t get it out of my mind ” said Pen, “ I seem to remember that song, someone I loved playing it all the time, I think it was called No One Can Sing the Blues Like Blind Willy Mctell. Yes Des, I think that’s right. Des “ I seem to have that vague sort of memory also, about some things you say like “ Oh mighty One” and “Great leader” Oh ! Pen It’s us we were, are married It’s all come flooding back” He got up knelt down in front of her, took her hand, caressed the ring she wore, and said “ I gave you that” they held each other for an eternity, tears streaming down their faces. When they finally parted, Des said “ But how could this have happened, did we come here together ? I reckon we must have been drugged, then all the distractions to help stop us remembering. It must have been one hell of a drug to make someone forget their partner, “So, Oh dam there it goes again, really must stop saying that, this seed thing, if that’s what it is, or a kind of bug or something, If so some have it worse than others, Horace, Scumsack, and that Comfy woman, didn’t seem to have any humanity left. “What now then, Great Leader? 

I have the vestiges of a plan but we need to go back to Never Never Land to find something, do you think you could still make the amazing “It’s getting worse”  I mean beautiful furniture” asked Pen, “Yeh, I think so, I carved that little bench with an old pen knife I found, how about you Pen?” “I think so but I haven’t found any old glass blowing equipment lying about, any way there is a fair chance someone hear has a grounding in electronics, if we could wake them up, we could get him to make a devise, that could be secreted somewhere over there in Greedy town,  that would broadcast a certain word, can you guess what that word would be Des? “Oh, I’m not sure, could it be LIAR! ? “Indeed” said Pen, And the thing you need from over there” he asked, an electrical diagram of some kind, remember the newspaper ? How  it brought everything back, we need to to wake up an electronics expert. “That’s a long shot” said Des” For now though I think we ought to take a break, get used to each other again, see you tomorrow morning ? Ok. 

         When they met next day, almost everything was remembered, their pet names for each other, favourite foods, places, everything. Des, what else have you remembered? “ Oh you mean the girls? Yeh that didn’t take long to come back we drew lots for choice of names, for the first one, and I won, Birch because of my love of wood, you choose Sandy for our second, because that’s what glass is made from. Birch was going out with that guy from art school, Sandy moved to a caravan out of the city, when she got pregnant by that hippy type she was going out with, didn’t want to bring up a child in the city, wonder what she had. The father  Verdant I think his name was, was going to build an Eco house out there for them. They reminisced most of that day, it was going dark, Pen told Des about the “Elf and Safe Tea Inspector” “ Have you ever seen anything like that? “ Yeh, I once saw a little man with a big syringe sort of thing, he seamed to be testing the air, he was following Reg Jected, about with it, just after we had that good crop of sprouts I think it was, not sure if I saw Reg after that”.

       “When are we going back “ “Let’s give it another few days, how about next Thursday, 10am again then? “Ok Boss good night and kissed her. “Stay here?“ No not yet, when we’re in some better place, good night Sally, Good night John . See you tomorrow.

Chapter 8 We are family.

       Des didn’t sleep much that night, thinking about Sally (always Sally now never Pen) thinking about the girls, they will be in their 40s now. He got up, put on his tatty clothes, and went the three dwellings up, to Pens, she was waiting. “ OK then off we go, and remember not a word this time, thought we’d had it last time” “OK boss “ Des answered. 

         They exited the skip, and walked toward that main busy road, gesturing to each other, as to where they may look for that technical drawing, many shrugs were made, clothes and fashion shops, but mainly hairdressers, every other shop in fact, peoples hair must grow really fast here Des thought, bet they put something in the water. Pen pointed across the road, a man behind an easel. Always curious about art, she headed in his direction Des followed, Pen poked her head around the easel, the man looked up, and just  said, “that you Sally? “ “John? “ Where have you been? Pen nodded, and beckoned the man to follow, to a place out of sight. “You are our son in law Rich aren’t you? “Yes”, “how come you can see us? “What do you mean?” To everyone else we are invisible” said Pen. “ Are you still with Birch? “no we separated “. “ Let’s go to my studio, we can talk there, you two seem nervous” “Lead on said Des” About fifteen minutes walk, they entered Rich’s studio, not much bigger than Des’s shack, or Pen’s cottage, a few paintings scattered about, mostly unfinished. “Tea coffee ? “ said Rich, Coffee please, with that white stuff, er milk, and three sugars, same for me please said Pen.

       “Tell us what happened with Birch please Rich. “Well as you know we met at art school, got married and lived with my mum and dad for a while, Birch couldn’t stand mum and dad, dad clip-clopping around the house, and mum knowing you where in the room without even turning round. “Yes” said Des, you are Rich Junior, your dad Richard -Nathaniel -West-Bank, and your mum Penny Bank?  That’s right” where are they now, asked Pen, “Oh off on that massive yacht of theirs, anyway, Birch wanted her own place, so dad got me a job at the bank, and I worked and worked, forgot all about my painting. We finally got our own house., six bedrooms, own swimming pool, the works. We found out Birch couldn’t have kids, I wanted about twelve. I started having affairs, maybe just wanted more sex, or maybe subconsciously, trying to reproduce.

     Then one day she confronted me on the street, I denied everything, but then I just collapsed, an ambulance was called and I was taken into hospital, to her credit, Birch came to visit every day, when I was fully recovered I realised, I had lost all interest in money, and decided to give nearly all of it to Birch, got the studio, and started painting again “. “Can you remember the date you collapsed” asked Pen “ No but I could find out, I know it was a Saturday, about 11am” “Rich, I think we inadvertently caused your collapse, at the same time we also caused the Secretary of State for Breadcrumbs  Terribly Comfy to go into meltdown” “Explain” said Rich, she was having an interview, and said, “Pensioners have never been so well off” and your loud mouth Father in Law here shouted liar, and she just melted, at the same time you were lying, to Birch. Sorry, it’s that word, liar the greedy ones don’t like it, that’s why they aren’t allowed to say it in parliament” Sounds a bit far fetched Sally, any more evidence” asked Rich, “ All the leaders I saw in parliament on my first visit here, had odd traits, weird living hair, goats legs, missing chins, two faces, we know your mum and dad had these deformities, do you have any?” I did have a slight malformation of my ears, pointy they were, but the points wizened after my collapse, I think I see where you’re coming from, and I must admit, I used to like Horace, but since my collapse have seen things differently, they have been in power far too long, and are abusing that power. They used to look perfectly normal to me, but now they seem like a bunch of animals. How could people fall for that trick of Horace’s trying to pass himself off as a normal guy, not only that but most people regarded him as a bit of a clown. 

      Last time I saw you two was on TV leading that protest about state pension being half that of the minimum wage.

    “Can we see  Birch Rich?””yeh, she’s still in our old place, I’ll take you if you want?  I won’t stay though we’d just end up rowing. It’s about twenty minutes walk, I would have taken you in the Roll’s but I’ve sold it, follow me” They followed Rich out of his studio, back down the alley, and up a street with big houses on each side, Rich stopped unlocked massive wrought iron gates, they then followed him up a long drive where Rich unlocked the two massive Oak doors, Des was impressed. Rich unlocked the door opened one side and shouted Birch, it’s me Rich, I’ve brought someone to see you” “Coming” Rich almost ran. Pen and Des watched this beautiful 40 some thing woman walk down the oak panelled hall, Pen and Des though saw their daughter as she was at twenty, they ran toward her, then a tangle of limbs and tears everywhere. When they unlocked, Birch said “Where have you been, last I saw you was on Tv, you were leading that March for better pensions” “ I think we were abducted by the government to keep us quiet  not sure how though, we’ve been in hell since that day “ Pen said, “I can certainly believe that, this lot are capable of anything especially that Scumsack.  I want to see, stay hear tonight, then in the morning take me to where you were held” . “Stay here” said Pen and Des, like two exited school kids, “Go sit, Tea Coffee ?””Please with lots of milk” The coffee arrived like magic, they never saw Birch move, then a glass of wine. Pen and Des told their daughter the whole story, including the bit about Rich. They asked about their other daughter Sandy, “Oh she’s fine, living out in the sticks in the Eco house Verdant, built, Verdant’s in Sweden, working on Eco houses over there. Sandy’s turned a bit hippy, I visit quite a bit, not been for a week or so though, she had a son not long after you disappeared Sparky they called him, because his dad thought he could save the world with electronic gadgetry, ” Sparky is eight now I think” By the way Birch, you may have heard us call each other Pen and Des that’s what we were called in our confinement, Pen Shiner, and Des Carded, funny eh? But we’re going to stick with them for now. Later that night though they would return briefly to Sally and John. Oh that bed ! 

       In the morning, breakfast, bacon, sausage, eggs, and mushroom, all appeared via a young woman in black dress with a white apron and little hat. “That was amazing” Said Des “Oops” Shall we go then, so off they went back down that posh road, then left, then things started getting seedier, then the skip and bin lorry hove into view, not just those two though, dozens of various waste disposal devises, bins, chutes,  but mainly skips. Pen and Des noticed, a well worn path, along where the skips etc were, “ This is where they come with our bread crumbs Pen and Des thought, I think this is ours said Des hard to tell because we came back a different way, but there’s my bin lorry, three doors up. They moved toward the skip, Birch suddenly stopped, “I feel ill” she explained, “can’t do it”, and started to faint. Des caught her, and guided her toward some old tyres where they sat until Birch came round. I think I know what’s going on here Said Pen, there’s something either in the skip or on you Birch, that’s there to stop you going in. Once Birch had come round “ Ready to try again? We’ll hold onto you, so they climbed into the skip, Birch vomited but carried on,  and out the other side. When Birch recovered, and they were outside, “did we just come out of your wardrobe ?  Yep.

           Birch looked around, a row of 20 or so shipping containers some with rickety chairs outside, some with rickety old people sat in those chairs, three old people bent over a patch of bare earth cheering and shouting,  it looked as if there should have been more somehow, inane music emanating from some of the containers, reminded Birch of the music they play in amusement arcades, to the far side was what Birch thought to be the river Tombs. This is where you’ve been living ! “Yep” said Des, but as he looked it seemed to alternate between,  containers, and the old shacks and crumbling cottages. Pen suddenly shouted “ Damn we forgot all about the diagram ! Then Des “Oh Sam and dod it ! Followed by, “let’s go inside, I’ve just had a thought, the buggers may be able to see us, out here”.

“What’s this diagram thing all about” asked Birch, then in a whisper, “Remember they don’t like the word “liar”, and have you ever heard anyone say it ? Also have you noticed how words and phrases spread, such as amazing, like, can I get? “” Guilty” said birch.“ So “ (and there goes another one) we plan to build some kind of speaker to broadcast the “L” word, and let that word spread, like a plague, trouble is, we need the diagram to show our inmates, see if we can wake up an electronics expert” Good 

luck with that Mum, there all about 90 years old, let’s go see Sandy, best go now, don’t think I could stay overnight here, don’t like cock roaches they give me the creeps, the whole place actually” “It gives us the creeps too, now we see it as it is”  Right let’s get out of hear then, we’ll stay at Sandy’s tonight.”

Chapter 9 The journey.

     Birch braced herself, and through she went with a parent on each side. Walking back to Rich and Birches house, had that old holiday feeling about it, family out together for stroll, not quite though! They reached the house, Birch said, “I just need to pop inside for somethings, when she came back she had two overnight bags, “I’ve put you a bit of stuff in here, for the night”. Pen and Des followed her around the corner of the house where she opened one side of the big garage doors and flicked on a light. There stood four cars, a Jeep, a Ferrari, a Mercedes, and a Rolls. Thought Rich had sold the Rolls ?”  said Des “ He did this is the other one, we’ll take the Jeep“ Of course, Pen and Des had been in cars, Des used to drive, but it was a long time ago and now it seemed like an adventure. Birch opened the doors, Pen and Des climbed in, both in the back holding hands. On the way, Birch had a few questions, “Wonder why Horace visited you personally Mum, and yet only a Simple Servant for Dad?” “I think I’m under suspicion, I was the ringleader of that protest, and I had begun to see through the false imagery, because I didn’t expose myself much to the blinkering of the screen, and all the other stuff. Maybe he was checking up on me personally, reckon he didn’t think I could see him, because he seamed flustered ““ Ok, sounds plausible, sort of, I wonder how you could come out of there without any ill effects ? That I don’t know, maybe the devise or whatever it was we were fitted with has worn out, or the batteries gone flat “ she laughed. 

      They were starting to leave the city now, still a bit urban, but trees and fields in evidence. Those people stood around that patch of earth, Birch said, what were they doing, Des told her all about the Dung Beetle games. “ You know, I don’t think you’re the only biddies in confinement, I reckon it probably started with your group, but Horace and his crew, probably, thought they may as well put away all the oldies on state pension, I only only see the wealthy ones on the street. The view outside was opening up, Pen and Des in ecstasy looking out the windows. 

        “What are those big tent like structures over to the left? “ Pen asked, Ah, they’re The Owl hospitals. We were struck by a pandemic, just after Sparky was born, they were built to house patients infected with the Corset virus, the Corset virus made it difficult to breath, thousands of people couldn’t go to work, and the economy was losing money, so Matt Two-Timer Handbook, the health secretary, had them built. The Owl hospitals are now unused, explained Birch. 

       “ Did Rich tell you about his ears? “”Yes, Bet he didn’t tell you about the other thing, What other thing? Can’t tell you, Oh!

        They drove on, almost no houses in view now, just farmland interspersed with woods.

       “This is it” said Birch, and turned right, up a rough track, a grey building with lots of glass and stainless steel came into view. “This is the house that  Verdant built ! Cool in summer, warm in winter, and no bills, not even on the grid!

      “Wait here “ Birch said, she went up the path and entered via a grey door with a stainless steel handle. She came out ten minutes  or so later alone, “where’s 

Sandy ?“ Pen asked, “Oh she’s in, but can’t come out to play, she has an electronic tag” Pen and Des stared at each other.

      All three entered the modern house, dried flowers, decorated stones, and wood everywhere, a TV was conspicuous in its absence. There she was Sally and John’s youngest and again beautiful daughter. They all exchanged hugs, then Sandy indicated to the far corner of the room, there behind a pile of books and a laptop screen, was a young boy about eight years old. “Sparky, come over here” Sparky did just that, “Sparky this is your Grandma and Grandad, remember I told you they went missing just before you were born? “Yes Mum, but I thought they were dead” “Sparky !” Sandy said a slightly raised voice, “They were just missing, and now they are going to tell us all about it, come and sit by me Sparky” Sparky sat between Sandy and Birch, Pen and Des opposite. “First I need to tell Birch Grandma and Grandad, about the tag, OK cool” said Sparky. 

       “I was leading a protest, to promote action to slow the Causan Effect, there were about twenty of us, in front of The Palace Of Sinister, we’d all got placards, “down with greed” “greed is killing our world” and Oh yes and , “ Horace the Earth killer” I moved to the front to make a speech, “ We can’t go on letting the greedy mega rich, bleed our planet dry” That was as far as I got, the police moved In, we resisted, but many of us were taken to police cells, Including me. I was read the riot act and threatened, held for a couple of days then brought home and tagged, can’t leave home for a year. 

That was three weeks ago. My little genius hear has devised ways to remove the tag, but if we did and I got caught, he’d be left on his own. Of course he has school, but he hates it, the teachers continually pushing the theme of how to make more and more money, then when he gets home I have to “unteach” him.

      “Right then, Mum and Dad, tell us what happened to you” “Started similar to your story, we were protesting for better pensions, not particularly for us, we would always adapt and survive, but for the thousands out there that couldn’t. Police came along and arrested us all, John and I were separated, I remember being in a cell, a man in a white coat coming in, and that was it. I was in that hell hole, with no memory of any thing before.” “ Ok”, said Birch, I’ve already seen this movie I’ll go do some food, whilst you go over the rest.

Chapter 10. The Journo.

      Phil Mein, had got his first break, he was going to interview PM Horace Bronson Phil had not long been out of Journo school , but he had connections, he’d been having an affair with Doris Bronson, Horace’s wife, after much pleading and holding back of services she agreed to set him up with the interview.

       Phil had took in all he was lectured to about at journo school. Never be too threatening, never let the interviewee go on too long, remember the interview is about you not them, but most of all never ever forget the golden rule of interviewing, do not under any circumstances call your interviewee a liar. 

         Phil had decided he wasn’t going to push Horace too hard, he had his career to think about, he wanted to get stinking rich. It was a matter of balance, not too soft and not too hard, the interview was going to be about the Causan Effect. Phil was thinking, he could possibly get away with raising the suicide of Professor Causan, and what Horace thought about suggestions it may not have been suicide, but not go any further than that. Whatever the answer was going to be, it was going to start with “ I think” and he was 100% sure it would be a total denial of anything suspicious. Phil also had to remember what happened to the poor chap that interviewed, PM Blur about that chemical weapons specialist who also allegedly committed suicide, he was never seen again! He had a few days left to think about it.

    It was the morning of the interview, Phil sat on a bench, making final preparations for his interview.

Chapter 11, The Plan.

      Birch entered the room with food, they talked and ate,

     “Wow! “ said Sandy, I knew things were bad but not that bad. These people aren’t going to stop until they have total and utter control, then added “a police state” They have got rid of cash, everything has to go through  the banks now, so they have total control that way, then the habitual tagging thing, the disappearing of old people now they are on about people having to wear a kind of numberplate, like numberplate recognition on cars, and we all know how mistakes are made with that.

    “Mum and Dad have a plan” Birch said, “Please Tell “ Said Sandy. “Go on Sally now they are all together” said John, “It’s your plan, Oh Great Leader”. “Ok then, first thing we need is some kind of electrical wiring diagram”. Sparkies ears pricked up, but he sat still and listened intently, we take the diagram back to the ghetto, try to get the inhabitants away from the distractions, they may need to be away from them for at least a week then try to wake up an electronics expert, if we find one, we hope he can design a devise that can broadcast sublimely just one word, all together now, “Liar !” they all shouted in unison, then we plant the devise or even better, devises, in Greedy  Town, switch it, or them on , and let the word spread, people out there are like sheep, the feared word will spread like wildfire” “Theres a lot of “if’s there, and where are you going to get the parts from for this devise?“ said Birch,”Mm not thought about that one. “ Please Mum can I say something” whispered Sparky, “Of course little one”

“ I can do it, May take me a while, but I can do it” “ I’m sure you can Sparky” said Des but we have to be back tomorrow, we’re expecting a delivery of breadcrumbs, If it’s noticed we’re missing, I don’t know what might happen” “Ok then what if I design it, draw it up, and you can take it back?  I think I  have most of the parts we need here you can take them  Grandad, I reckon I could get it done tonight if Mum let’s me stay up” “Yes Sparky please do it Kiddo” Then sparky said, “Come over hear” They followed, under his spell, he turned on his lap top, pressed a few keys, there on the screen was a layout of some buildings, “this” said Sparky “ Is a plan of the City of Nondol broadcasting centre, there are two main buildings, I’ve been tying to find out what this little one is for, Now I know because you said you get different programs to the main city, so the big transmitter is for the main city, and the little one for where you were. If I had time, I could work out how switch it off from here, but I don’t have time, do I ?  I have to do that diagram” “Ok Sparky go and get on with the diagram” and off he went up stairs, “ Told you he was a genius said Sandy” Sally and John, gobsmacked. “Can he really do that? “John said, if he says he can, he can”. “What about the transmitter” said Birch? “See what my mini genius says in the morning.

    I didn’t want to say anything in front of Sparky, but I am a concerned about this plan, it seems to me it’s tantamount to murder” said Sandy, well in a way, said Sally, but then again, the only ones that are actually going to die, are dead already, took over by whatever it is, and in the process of killing our planet. I reckon maybe  a third up to half the population, have the full blown virus or whatever it is, then a good percentage of those, may be recoverable like Rich. That genius son of mine kind of worked this out a while ago, he said greed was taking over our planet like a computer virus, corrupting everything, the ones that aren’t actually infected, aspire to what the ones that are have. Everything is geared around making money, it’s all false we don’t need all this stuff. The fashion industry creates new styles every  few months, mobile phones are updated almost consistently, cars the same, everything! “

“We don’t need it all, it doesn’t make us happy, not  long term anyway, it’s just a drug.

Greed of course isn’t just about money and possessions, People want more kids too, so more and more stuff for more and more people. The greedy don’t want to part with their spoils, so they just pass the onus onto the little people, or as Horace’s father called us the “Illiterates” because a lot of people can’t spell Pinocchio apparently, and Horace calls us that too. For the good of our world we need to do this.

     They talked into the night family stuff mostly.

Chapter 11, the journey home.

      Over breakfast, more detailed planning was made. “We go back today, once Sparkies done his diagram, and got all the materials you will need. I’ll drop you off at the ghetto, hopefully Sparky, should get the screen transmission cut today because he he has to be back at school tomorrow, otherwise the truant police will be round. Then you can start interviewing the inmates. How many do you reckon there are Sally? “I think there were twenty two at the march, but I noticed, when I saw the containers, at least six looked empty. I guess we were all old biddies, so some will have died, given the lack of food and the conditions, if so the bodies must have been spirited away at Some point”.

     “Ah, good Morning micro genius” said Sally as Sparky entered the room, clutching a drawing. “ How did you get on? Childs play he said and giggled, took me about three hours”. So you only got seven hours sleep!” “Mum!” shouted Sparky, “I’m not going to lend Grandad my soldering iron now”. “You’re allowed a soldering iron?” Said Sally. They all laughed. “We don’t have electric” said John, it’s 12volt answered Sparky, I’ll give you a battery. I’ll go pack it all up”. “ I’ll come help said John. Sparky described most of the parts and what they did to John, then “Here’s some “AA” batteries, enough stuff here to make about four gadgets. Once they’re built you need to program them, press “on” here, then press and hold here”. Pointing to the drawing , “Speak your message, and let go of the button and it’s set. I’ve set it to repeat every 30 seconds. Just one problem you won’t be able to hear if it’s working, you said you wanted subliminal, and that was the hardest bit the green led will flash, if it’s detected a recording”.

       John picked up the box, “this is quite heavy” “ It’s the battery for the soldering iron” said Sparky and, don’t forget to disconnect it if not in immediate use” “You are a clever little devil aren’t you?” said John., and put the stuff in the back of the Jeep “ Yeh but I’m a social outcast at school, because I don’t know anything about TV, sport, celebs and all that stuff, I’m going in now to turn off the transmission, it could be straight away, or it could take me all day” “Pathetic” said John, Sparky hugged him tight. Birch and Sally came out and climbed in the car, they waved to Sandy stood in the doorway, and drove off.

       “This pandemic? “ said Sally, looking out the window at the Owl hospitals, Why did it spread so widely? “ Well“ answered Birch, it started in China, dense population, so it spread quickly there,  then because the governments didn’t want to stop people flying, greed again! It quickly spread all over the world, the more densely populated the country, the more it spread. Horace, to his credit, acted quickly once it got bad, made people stay at home, stopped them from socialising, even made some work from home, but somehow he forgot to abide by his own rules, he endangered hundreds of lives, but got off more or less Scot free! It did get better for a while, but when it started getting bad again, it was deemed too expensive, to take further action.

Interesting fact for you though Mum, Our dear Horace, took people out of hospital, and put then in care homes, what do you think happened then? The oldies got I’ll? Give the woman a coconut said Birch!

    John? how many people can you definitely remember from our camp, in recent weeks ? “ “Oh loads, Don Withim, Fay Dedaway, I saw them at the garden last week, Don was helping, and Fay brought, some pigeon and breadcrumb crumble.” “Who else then?” “That guy that’s always on about the damn beetles” “and ?” “There’s loads” “name them then” I can’t “ “Thought so, said Sally, imaginary friends! “They’ve messed with our minds, our friends are nearly all dead, but we haven’t noticed” Not much chance of finding an electronics technician there then””Nup”

       Nearly back to Sally and John’s ghetto, Sally suddenly asks,” “look over there Birch, that row of skips, a bit like ours only much longer “ Birch made a slight detour, two Simple Servants stood arguing, in front of the skips, “ We’ll what do you say we do then” answer “ go tell the boss” “ Oh yeh, and how do think these poor buggers got in here in the first place? “ Answer, “I don’t know” “Well I do, he put them here” “Why didn’t we see them before then, we’ve been coming here years?” “ Answer “ No idea, but if there was no one here, why were we ordered to bring the ******* breadcrumbs, and there’s certainly someone hear now, you heard the racket and saw them“ Ok then all we can do is just carry on as normal” “but they’re going to die”, if we leave the door open then they can get out, then carry on as normal and don’t tell anyone” “Ok that’s the best we can do I guess” one went in a skip, then came out again and then  they walked off.

      Looks like you were right Birch, they’ve dumped all the oldies! This is another camp and it sounds like they’ve woken up, started making noise, and those two minion’s now know they’re hear. “ I bet Sparkies got the signal off already”

     “Back to ours quick” Said John “ Pick up Fay, Don and the beetle man then get back here.

Chapter 12, Fay, Don and the Beetle Man.

       The Jeep, pulled up outside, Johns bin lorry, all three get out. “ Do I have to” says Birch” “afraid so” answers John. All on the other side, Birch still reeling, a weird site greeted them, Fay, Don and Beetle Man, running about crouched over, Beetle man shouting, “Pele, Pele, come here, Fay shouting there’s Gozza, and Don shouting I’ve got Lame Loony. Sally thought of more Dylan music, from the movie soundtrack Pat Garret and Billy the Kid called “Turkey Chase” “The beetles are loose, shouts John, must have been the signal keeping them on the pitch, he ducked as a piece of dung thrown by one of the beetle females just missed his head. “Listen all of you shouted Sally, I have something serious to tell you, then you all have to come with us”

    “This whole place is a sham, we were all protesting for er, more breadcrumbs, then put in here to keep us quiet, trust me you will come to remember, who  you really are”Don and Fay walked over, Don said “What shall I do with Lame Loony? “ Just put him down he’ll be fine” Then Beetle Man “ I can’t leave them they’re special” “Ok then, stay here, but we have to go, and I’m sure there will be more beetles where we’re going” “Ok then” they all crammed into the Jeep. “ Oh” said Sally, “nearly forgot”, and went back for the newspaper and the twenty pound note. She passed them to Don and Fay, “hear have look at these” Birch drove them all back to the other skips, all skips this time, and more regimented, “Ours must have  been an emergency affair” said John. “This is organised” a few old people were wondering around, Sally and John rounded them up and ushered them back though the nearest skip, Birch, got through unscathed this time, and gave John and Sally a shrug, those goons must have left it switched off. Sally propped a stained mattress up to the wardrobe to stop potential escapees. 

        On leaving the container they entered through, a grim sight welcomed them. Bewildered old people everywhere but also younger ones in wheelchairs, or on crutches, much chasing of beetles, but also a lot of just standing and staring.

         John looked at Sally, she nodded, John climbed up onto rickety old table, and addressed the crowd. “ people of Nowheresville” he shouted, you are all very confused at the moment, please trust us we are here to help, please go back to your dwelling, and try to get some sleep, tomorrow we will try and give you all your lives back.

         Birch, Sally, John and Don, went back to the Jeep, leaving, Fay and Beetle man to wait for their return “You’d best take us back to our hovel in case we have a delivery. and then go home Birch, then can you come back tomorrow, and bring us back here?

Chapter 13 The Simple Servants.

       The two simple servants made their way back to their office, Simple Servant One, went back to his desk. Simple Servant Two, thought he could use his experience at the skips to get his feet on the ladder. He, knocked, “come in” shouted Horace “Tweedle Dee isn’t it” “Yes Sir” “well Dee what can I do for you?”  “well sir, I was at the skips today making the regular delivery, and, erm, we’ll, I could see people sir, and they were all shouting” “ What did you do then Dee?””, Well sir I told Dumb to make sure the door was locked then we came back here” “ You did the right thing Tweedle, leave it to me, don’t mention it to anyone else” “One more thing sir?” “Yes what is it?” “ Will I get a pay increase or promotion sir? “ “ I think, I will think about it Tweedle, now please go away”  Horace marched straight round to Scumsacks office.

    “Ricky, we have a problem, somethings gone wrong at the dump it site, the Illiterates are revolting “ They smirked that awful smirk at each other. “ I have a Causan Effect meeting tomorrow and Sunday, then Monday I have an interview with that rookie journo, I’m going to eat him alive! , can you go round to the  dump it site in the morning and see what’s going on””Damn “ thought Scumsack, “ I was off for a dirty weekend, with  Shiela Doit-Formony, I’ve paid £100K for that hotel so I’m damn well going, I’ll check out the Illiterates when I get back.

Chapter 14 The Candidates

      John and Sally had spent the night, in what Sally always though of as her cottage, it was never anything special, but she  now saw it for just what it was, a big metal shipping container, they were up dressed and sat on the bed waiting for Birch to come and take them to the other camp.

        There was a knock on the door Sally opened it, it was Don “ I know who I am, I am Dave Dawber, I was a painter and decorator, and record holding racing cyclist” “ Welcome to the world of the living” said Sally.

       Birch pulled up in the Jeep,  got out and entered the skip, the nausea returned

but she fought it, and entered Sally’s room, to see her Mum, Dad and Don. “Good morning Birch, this is Dave Dauber” said Sally, “This is all getting a bit confusing for me, shall we go?”

         Sally, John, and Dave, entered the other ghetto, Birch left saying “I’ll be back in the morning”

         It was quieter now, some people just standing staring, others in groups talking, others sat with their heads in their hands. John climbed up on the rickety table, Sally  sat and separated the newspaper into individual pages. “Now then folks” started John, “I promised you all your lives back, has anyone yet remembered who they are? Fay and Dave were staring at each other, Fay put her hand up, “I’m Jean Dauber She said, before I married this one I was Jean La-Screw, a prison officer” “Good “said John, anyone else ?” Silence “That’s Ok, don’t worry, my wonderful assistant will give you all a sheet of paper, and show you another, please really concentrate on them, and as you start to remember things, please form a line, in front of this table” Sally gave them all a page from the news paper, and let each one in turn handle and study the £20.00 note. John heard someone mutter, “that’s a twenty pound note” and he came to the table, John showed him the circuit diagram, the man shook his head, “I was a plumber” he said. Just two more people that day came to the table, one turned out Seamstress, the last being Beetle Man, John remembered him being in the protest group because he talked in a kind of monotone voice with an indistinguishable accent, 

his real name was Juan Olava-Biged, “ I used to be football manager” “ but I thought that was a well paid job? “ said John, “ I was not professional manager my job was telephone operator for bank” So neither showed any knowledge of Sparky’s drawing.

     The next morning, there was already people queuing at the table. By the time Birch got there, John and Sally were already busy showing people the diagram. Many interesting characters, including an ex porn star called Willy Standup, but by mid day nothing. Then suddenly, a young woman stepped up, “I’m Gill Bates, I used to work for Pear, they fired me because I broke their glass ceiling, and I couldn’t get anything else in manufacturing, because everything is made in China now, makes more profit that way “. “Do you know what this is a diagram for?” said John. “Oh yes it’s a subliminal speaker, they were invented years ago to make people buy stuff they didn’t need, but now we have the internet” “Can you built it?” “No” Johns heart sank, “I don’t have parts” “ I do, when can you start?” “Now if you like, nothing else to do, let me have another look, who drew this? It’s brilliant, needs a few modifications, but should be doable, Do you have a soldering, iron?” “Yes a 12 volt and a battery” “That’s a bit limiting, we do have electric you know” “Sorry” replied John “ We didn’t have that luxury where we were kept” “Never mind I’ll do my best, right then let’s get started”

Chapter 15. The gadget.

      John fetched the box of bits and placed it on the table he’d been stood on, Gill showed Birch how to organise all the parts into piles, and asked John to cut some wood boards to mount everything on. Gill was clearly good at this, she had the first Gadget ready, in under two hours. If we can get three by 5pm we’ll take them out and plant them, light the blue touch paper and see what happens.

     Gill actually got four gadgets made, on the fifth the 12 volt battery for the soldering iron went flat.

     Sally and John went out into Opulence to plant the devises, Gill had told them the range wasn’t great, so put them near where people may sit or stand, benches and so-forth so they did just that, and went back to the camp, Birch then took them home, and they soon went to bed.

Chapter 16. Mrs Scumsack.

    Philomena Scumsack was sat on a bench people watching both in front and behind her without turning her head, whilst she waited for her toy-boy Buzz Darkyear ,the very same bench Phil Mein the journalist had sat on moments earlier. When Buzz turned up they both sat and talked about the apartment Philomena had bought for Buzz and how they were going to decorate it, they couldn’t decide which of fifty shades of grey to choose, in the end they went for green, which is after all the colour of money. Philomena’s husband Ricky was away on government business, so they went for a meal, then back to the Scumsacks place for dessert!

Chapter 17. The captive.

            The Horrible Ricky Scumsack, automatically assumed the trouble was with the original, wrinkly rebels, he’d nicknamed them the Oliver’s, because they were always wanting more, He turned up Monday morning just after Sally and John had got dressed. He shuddered, entered the skip, stood there ten minutes, heard nothing and entered Sally’s wardrobe, Scumsack stepped into another world, Sally went straight for him, this thing  was the epitome of greed and selfishness to her, Scumsacks little hooves slipped on the steel floor, he went down with a crash, Sally was straight on him, John joined in, but Scumsack was wriggling and writhing and making a strange clicking and whirring  noises, “Don” John shouted at the top of his voice, Don ran in, and piled on top, “get a blanket out of the wardrobe” shouted Sally, together they bound Scumsack up.

      “I think we just made a big mistake” said John, “Yes you have” roared Scumsack, then reverted to the whirring and clicking, the Greed in him clearly not happy. “We can’t let him go now” said Sally, “He’ll go back to his den and bring his goons” “Ok then, we’ll leave him here to stew, lets carry him outside so he can see how the other half live” they carried him out and propped him up at the end of Sally’s container. John went to get some chairs, so they could sit and wait for Birch.

       Birch arrived back, and entered Sally’s container, fighting the nausea. When She found no one there she went outside, to find Sally, John and Don staring at the floor just to her left, she followed their gaze. Then “Oh my god Mum what have you done?”

“He just walked in on us and we panicked” 

    “Come inside you three” sounding just like her Mum “You’ll have to let him go, the devises are all planted, we’ll all go back to Sandy’s, hide out there and see what happens, we’ll call at mine first and pick up a portable TV so we can watch the news, Sandy doesn’t have a TV, I’m going to phone Rich, see if he can meet us there” John and Sally reluctantly agreed.

     They went back outside, and cut the writhing, whirring, clicking Scumsack free. He scrambled to his little feet, ran out, ten and twenty pound notes spilling out of his pockets, and sped off in his huge  black car. Sally picked up the notes.

       Before Sally, John and Birch left, They put Dave and Jean in charge, and explained it may be safest to keep everyone here for a while, because things may get weird out their, and she’d see if she could organise some supplies.

Chapter. 18 The interview.

    Horace was wearing his scientists clothes and holding a test tube in his left hand, he and Phil shook hands, they sat in the garden at number 10 Drowning St, surrounded by empty wine bottles, even emptier glasses, ten and twenty pound notes scattered all over the floor. Phil, “We are here to discuss the Causan Effect, Prime Minister” Horace answered “ It’s very Important, that erm, we do something, I think” Phil “Could you explain what is being done at the moment? “ Phil dropped his microphone, bent to pick it up, and scooped up a few notes. Horace, “I think it’s very important that everyone does all they can, and recycle as many plastic bottles and cans as they can, and ride bicycles like me, I think” Horace was now getting exited, waving his arms about and knocked over some glasses and a bottle. Phil “ Yes Prime Minister I am sure the great Bringlish public will do all they can, but what about big business? “ Phil, dropped his microphone again. Horace “I think we can plant more trees” Phil “ We are still burning too much coal and gas” Horace, “I think there are more electric cars being sold now than ever before” Phil “ Do you think Professor Causan killed himself ?” “Horace “ Yes I have a dog and a cat, I think” Phil “Thank you Prime Minister”On his way out Phil managed to drop his microphone twice more!

Chapter, 19 The home comings.

       Phil left Horace’s office and phoned Doris to thank her for arranging the interview. She nearly dropped the phone,  having four thumbs is not always a good thing ! “How did it go ?“ she asked him “Oh he just gave a load of trite answers as usual, made me look quite clever I think” That must have been hard, she thought.

     Boris arrived home. “How did your interview go Darling “ That Journo was in tears by the time I’d finished with him. “You are such a good liar Darling” “Horace what’s happening to your hair, it’s twirling about on your head ?” “I think it’s a can of beans”then he fell to the floor and melted into a pool of green jelly, that odd miniature haystack left floating on the top

          Ricky’s car screeched to a halt outside his Nodnol City house, and he ran inside, how did you get into that state Philomena Scumsack shouted at him, I tripped and fell into a hedge. You Liar you’ve been with that Shiela Doit-Formony, shouted Philomena Scumsack. Ricky began to tremble, smoke emanating from his ears, he fell to the ground and melted into a pool of green slime. Oh damn thought Philomena how will I get that mess out of my carpet!

Chapter 20. Chaos.

       Sally, John and Birch, arrived at Birch and Rich’s house, Rich had responded to Birch’s call and was waiting for them, it was still early evening. They all had something to eat, Rich suggested  John and Sally could go and have a shower, they accepted. Rich was gone five minutes demonstrating how the shower worked, he had wanted some time alone with Birch. During this time he told Birch how sorry he was, and how he’d been a total ass, greed had totally taken him over. Birch hugged him, said she understood, she had seen recently what greed was doing to people. Birch said, “If this plan that Mum and Dad have initiated, works, it will set off a chain reaction, all the ones infected with greed will die, and Rich, that will most likely include your 

parents “ “ That’s Ok I can live with that, they were totally corrupted, did I ever tell you ? Dad was actually going to buy Horace Bronson, but he got outbid by ten million. What I can’t understand is how come I didn’t die “ “ I remember” said Birch “You telling me about your Grandparents, how your Grandmother was part of the arts and craft movement, but your somewhat odd looking Grandfather, convinced her they could make a lot of money from her skills, I reckon Rich, the greed thing sort of skipped a generation, and that’s why you were always a bit arty and survived” “ My ears shrinking, not a problem, but what about the other thing?” asked Rich, “ It’s Ok Rich I can manage”

        “Rich! now that you’re a human being again, how would like to redeem yourself?

Those people in that camp are going to need some help in the coming days, food and stuff, there are probably a lot more camps around the city, and probably around the country, but not much we can do about that I guess”   “Ok Birch, I’d be glad to”

      “One more thing before we go, we need a TV for the news, Sandy doesn’t have one” “ Ok take the one from the walk in wardrobe, I think we only ever turned it on the once” Answered Rich.

     Sally and John returned from their shower, all clean and shiny. “ I’ll go get the TV then we’re off, can you two wait in the Jeep” When Birch returned with the TV, she placed it on the table, put her arms around Rich and kissed him, “I love you now your back”

Chapter. 21 The news.

         It was just turned 9.30 when they arrived at Sandy’s house, they just caught Sparky on his way to bed, Sandy thought, should I let him stay up for the 10.pm news, maybe best not. Sparky hugged his Aunty and newly found Grandparents “ good night” and went to bed.

         Sandy made coffee, plugged in the TV, news reader Trepid McDonut, appeared somber, “ reports are coming in that both Prime Minister Horace Bronson (93)and Chancellor Ricky Scumsack (112) are missing. Rumours that they have run away together are said to be unfounded, as the PM only fancy’s people with nice legs.

As at this moment there has been no comment from their wives.

       Sally her husband and the sisters all looked at each other, “ Didn’t  expect that one said John!”

The News, day two, am,

       Good morning, This is Ann Chorman, with your morning news. “ The Prime Minister and the Chancellor, are still missing, and there have been further reports of missing politicians, and top business men, also reports coming in of several people collapsing in the street, and in one case in a police station. A top scientific adviser has denied the cause is a new strain of Corset 19.

          “It Looks like it’s working then” Said Sally, “Mum what’s happening? “ Asked Sparky “ Nothing to worry about, just get on with your work love” 

The News day two, pm.

           Trepid McDonut, with your evening news. Doris Bronson and Philomena Scumsack are being held in custody, concerning the suspicious disappearances of their husbands. An emergency government has been formed, and the army are on alert, as politicians and wealthy business men continue to disappear. A woman says a jellyfish ate her husband “ He was swimming in our private pool, I shouted to him, have you just peed in the pool Lucre? No he shouted, liar  I replied, next thing there was just this huge jellyfish.

The News Day 3 am

       Philomena Scumsack and Doris Bronson, have escaped from custody, police are looking into two pools of slime. It is now said hundreds of Politicians and high level business men have disappeared. The Owl hospitals originally built for the Corset 19 pandemic have been reopened, for the hundreds of people that have mysteriously collapsed, however it appears the first patients are now starting to recover, but exhibit an odd side effect, they have lost all interest wealth and possessions.

     The News Day 3 pm.

      The evening news with Huge Eggcups. Wealthy people continue to disappear, and the epidemic is now beginning to spread outside Nodnol, as far north as Haminburg,

Thousands of people are now being admitted into the Owl hospitals, most appear to be recovering, but all exhibit LOFASE ( lack of financial ambition side effect)

      The News Day 4 am.

       This is Ann Chorman with the morning news. A national state of emergency has been declared. The epidemic is now countrywide, and some cases have been reported as far away as the USA . American, Ronald Phart the Olympic lying champion, is reported to have gone missing. President of Rustier, Bloodineer Pooedhimself was actually witnessed to have melted into a pool of slime whilst being interviewed about the “war”  in Peacefuland. Scientists say there may be a connection between the “new speak” word “l.i.a.r” which is now used even more than the words “amazing, like, and “so” and what’s now been officially declared a pandemic.

        The News Day 4 Pm.

        This is Huge Eggcups with your evening news,

        Scientists are now certain there is a direct correlation between the word which describes the telling of an untruth and C.L.A.S.M, or clasm, (caught lying and so melted) which has now claimed millions of lives. All either wealthy businessmen or politicians, seventy five percent of which have now disappeared. A law is now in place forbidding politicians and millionaires to speak to or be spoken to by anyone. Reports from NASA are that fifty nine spacecraft have left Earth bound for an unknown destination. Unsubstantiated rumours are that these ships were built by billionaires for when the Causan Effect rendered the earth incapable of sustaining life. However it is suggested the ships completion was rushed to fulfill this new need. One such craft the “Hell Benton”, exploded on exiting our atmosphere and is a stark reminder of what can happen if such missions are rushed. Mrs Queen, one of the worlds richest women, is now being held in quarantine in a council house on Carla Lane, along with the survivor’s of her family, her son Vince Android Windsock, Puke of Pork. Was an early victim.

Chapter 22 the philanthropist.

     Rich phoned Birch the day after they parted, “ Birch the money has not been transferred yet, I think we ought to use it to help all the people that have been exiled by our government. I have already cleared out Waythose (Supermarket) and delivered all the food to the second camp and left it in the care of Dave and Jean to distribute. I also still have use of my private helicopter and it’s pilot, he’s done a surveillance trip around the outskirts of Nodnol and found twenty other camps, from what he can tell, most people are in total disarray, does Sparky know if the signal is on or off? I plan to get food to the other camps tomorrow, even if it means clearing out Snosiroms, Sada, Ocset, even Oten and Idil (supermarkets) if necessary “ . Birch replied. “Of  course use the money, I’ll ask Sparky about the signal, if it’s still off maybe best to turn it back until we get everyone sorted”.

Rich again “ I have spoken to my contacts across the country, and they are all going to do similar reconnaissance, first reports are things get less bad the further north you get, and it appears the screen and stuff are still on as most people seem calm. Tell Sandy I have also sent a private jet to pick up Verdant, I have a plan he may be able to help with”

Chapter 23 The Death of Greed.

       Sparky had done better than just turn the signal back on, he spliced in the main signal so everyone in the camps now had the main news. The first broadcast they heard was.

       This is Fedora Bruise with the evening news.

       The C.L.A.S.M  (Caught lying and so meted) is now under control in most major cities. The major cause has been identified, as a microscopic organism, which has been present in Homo sapiens throughout their evolution, this organism had the effect of making them so greedy, it nearly caused the end of humanity. It is now known there are three degrees of affectedness, the first, actual total infection from both parents to their children, the second a lesser infection if only one parent infected.

The third, a sort of infection by proxy, whereby otherwise normal people so desire what the fully infected mega rich have, they develop greed symptoms themselves, the second group are curable in a few cases, the third group nearly always curable. In the few surviving cases of total infection, when the organism is removed and destroyed, the host is left a total wreck, and needs to be re-educated. Billionaire Mrs Queen is one such example. Temporary governments, of greed free people are now in control, and are now in the process of forming a One World Government, with local councils for individual countries.

Chapter 24 Verdant.

       Verdant arrived home! To many hugs and kisses, mainly from his wife and Sparky, they were soon down to business. Rich had been in touch with hundreds of friends and ex colleagues, his idea to remodel the “Dump it Sites”. The financing was now secure, especially as the companies to carry  out the work would do so at non profit rates. Verdant was to oversee adaptions to the already existing containers, joining  two or three together, insulate, then and turn them into Eco homes.

   Sally, John, Birch and Sandy, were to set up up colleges where people could learn crafts and hobbies, so they would not develop greedy habits. 

       Another plus to the death of Greed, was that the loss of millions of infected non recoverable people, had not only reduced the world population, but reduced the desire to have more than one child. As a result the planet had enough resources and space for everyone to live a life of freedom. 

The end. All words Meadowhead Bard.