Whenever I leave the house, I always leave the toilet seat up, in case I have an emergency when I get back!
I always keep some spare dark, in a box in case the
lights won’t go off.
In case the water goes off I keep a ten litre drum to fill up from the tap.
In case of world war three, I have a white flag that says I love Russia on it.
Thank you Mr prompt man for inspiring me to such lunacy, can you please be more specific in future, eg what kind of emergency?

Not for those of a nervous disposition.

In my last emergency I caught fire then shouted my wife “Ann !!!!!!!!” She put me out, then they whipped me off inside an ambulance van.
At the hospital they said to me “”What you been doing mate?” I answered them “My arms a bit hot, and I just don’t feel too great”.
They peeled some skin of my leg, and wrapped it round my arm. “You’ll be fine in two years time please just try and be nice and calm”.
All trussed up and bandaged, they sent me off a packing. I admit for a good few days, I thought my self in common sense quite lacking.
But there was no way I could have seen the approach of this most epic disaster. I just hope that next time it can be fixed with a sticking plaster.
Moisturiser here, moisturiser there I’m so flipping greasy, Keeping my trousers up, and staying in bed, well you know it’s just not easy.
One day I’ll be back to normal, that’s if I ever was, when people say “Why you doing THAT again” I’ll just say “Because”

All words Meadowhead Bard.