I would have my biography titled “Not as Advertised” Because I’m a man, and men are expected to macho, tattoos, swaggering walk, bulging muscles etc, etc. I’m none of the above, I am in the very strictest meaning of the word a “Gentleman” you won’t find aggression or violence here.

So on the theme of not being as advertised here is today’s offering. Based on the fact that ads are seldom what you see on the screen.

Ads

The electric car sped through the desert, not a charging point in sight
The beautiful holiday, but no mention of rain or the cancelled flights
The new shampoo with all those chemicals that end up down the drain
Party political broadcasts, for all those candidates, not one of them with a brain.

That pink stuff you can drink, when your stomach is bad
Have you thought it may be the rubbish you ate, from the previous ad
On those models all that fashion, high heal shoes, bright red lipstick
Do you think you’d look like them, is that really realistic?

For a man there are some pills, to make him stand to attention
But it’s a funny thing you know, all the side effects they forget to mention
There’s a toothpaste you can buy to make your teeth look painted white
But then are they that bright you look like a vampire on the hunt a night?

The vacuum with all those bits and bobs it looks just like a space ship
But after a month of dog hairs and Lego bricks you’ll be taking it to the tip
All those sprays and air fresheners to cover up the smells
From that sweaty exercise bike, and the dog you didn’t want as well.

Then there’s the ad you can’t work out what the damn thing means
You may not know until you’ve bought the thing, may be insurance may be beans
What about the bank that seems to want to give you money
But banks are all about making cash, something there smells funny.

Leprechauns that say “Have some fun gambling, go on have a bash”
You won’t think it so much fun when you’ve lost all your cash
Join the army learn a skill, you’ll have so much fun
Also learn how to kill and then get shot with your enemies gun

Christmas time advertising goes into overdrive
Enough food is sold to keep the world’s starving alive
All the plastic guns that are sold what do think they are for?
Well you know our kids should be versed in weapons for when they go to war.

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Just a brief explanation about the mention of dogs, I’m alluding to all the dogs that were taken on during covid, many because it was put out by press and tv it was a good idea, and for some it was, but think of all the dogs that were abandoned when people went back to work.

All words Meadowhead Bard.