My favourite game snooker, my favourite commentator Ron Gangle, which is a coincidence because that’s what he always said when a player missed a shot.. I love to play lambasting, especially lambasting politicians. Not to be confused with lamb basting that’s a different thing entirely, although it’s a thought. Trump with mint sauce, mm maybe not.

Coulrophobia.

I suffer from coulrophobia, usually described as an irrational fear of clowns, but fear of the clowns described below is purely rational.
In fact there’s almost nothing that so much gets me down
To me and many others clowns are loathsome creatures
Follows now, are just a few of their most scary features

Clowns.

Their hair it looks so foreign, odd coloured or like a hay stack
They speak as from a doctored tape with distorted playback
With skin of orange colour and eyes that don’t look straight
Most don’t look human, many grossly overweight.

Their feet so big, they’re always were they don’t belong
To themselves so innocent, never do anything wrong
Wherever they go they’re always causing chaos
And yet it’s such a strange thing they are the ones that’s boss

Many are named after bodily functions, but I did know one called Boris
Boris played on a small stage, but really belonged in the forest
His favourite trick was dressing up like a real person
Plumber, builder or whatever, but no one else did those clothes look worse on

Being on a small stage, Boris couldn’t do much damage
But their is a bigger clown, on a bigger stage going on a rampage
I just can’t believe all that rubbish out of a mouth so mealy and so small
He’s going to destroy his audience, with his mindless tricks and pratfalls

He’s got a bucket of water, swinging about on his arm
But it’s not water, or shreds of paper it’s probably napalm
Or it may look like polystyrene, but in reality it’s a bomb
This clown called Phart is dangerous, you had better run.

All words Meadowhead Batd.