Title line stolen and mangled from Bob Dylan’s “It takes a lot to laugh, it takes a train to cry”

Apart from the “F” word, it would have to be “Amazing” It is so over used, a real cliche, “Perfect” is closing in on the rails, but I still think it will be pipped at the post.
These over used words probably don’t bother most people, but they absolutely drive my mad. One of the drawbacks of working in a DIY shop, is the “Fork handle”/“Four candles” thing from the Two Ronies sketch , people just can’t resist it.

My little book is out now “A Collection of Poetry and Nonsense” By Meadowhead Bard. I would like to say “Available in all good book stores” but unfortunately that isn’t the case they are only available
from me., at £7.00 plus postage.

The Sequel.

I work in a DIY shop “You sell everything” they say
If we did sell everything, how much would people pay
How many times have I heard “Fork handles” said in jest
We’re not quite as good as Ronny Barkers shop, that one was the best

I need some batteries for my camel, I need them in a hurry,
“Are you sure it’s a battery-n not a dromedary ?”
“Do you have some poo bags for my dog? “No there not big enough”
“ I Don’t want to put the dog in just the other stuff”

“Have you got a plug” she said, “I’ll go and have a look”
“I can recommend this I said it’s my little poetry book”
“Oh she said I’ve heard of it, people say it’s no good
I’ll take one for my fire it will be good for lighting wood

“Have you any O’s ?” “Yes’ do you need any other number?”
“No, no thank you that’s Ok I just want to water my cucumber”
“I need a stripper for my wife, do you have one here ?”
“No I don’t I said, and I’m not doing it” I made that very clear

“Have you got a bulb like this ?” “No only one that works”
To have a laugh with with customers the favourite of my perks
If I was the shopkeeper for the world, I would sell love and peace
The selling of hate and violence that activity would cease.

All words Meadowhead Bard.