Sometimes it seems like my life is just one big DIY project, a house that’s too big and a Keith that’s getting older. I’m not going to write about boring proper DIY today though, I’m in the mood for some nonsense.
Talking of Nonsense I love spotting weird and nonsensical sights, things like ”Please refrain your dog from fouling the footpath” One can only refrain from doing something one’s self, you can’t refrain a dog, unless you sing a refrain to it.
We have a local police station at the entrance to it’s car park there is a sign which reads “No pedestrians or vehicles beyond this point” Ok so how did all those police cars get in there then, are they not vehicles?
Relevant to today’s post though is what I once saw sign written on a van “Any small or DIY job undertaken” Surely one has to undertake a DIY job one’s self, no one else can do it.

D.I.Y.

“Dive In Yoke” Cut the top off the egg, dive in and come out yellow
I enjoy that kind of challenge, I’m that kind of fellow.

“Deal In Yachts” That would be a challenge, Im not that wealthy
Besides all that sea air, and all those crabs cannot be all that healthy.

“Don’t Intentionally Yawn” Whilst watching TV
All that football, all that sex and violence I don’t want to see.

“Drying In “Y”Fronts” Stood in front of the fire
Soaked through from the rain in incorrect attire

“Driving Infinite Yaks, through infinite fields
Then trying to sell them all, doing infinite yaky deals.

Dreaming In Yellowstone” That far off wildlife treasure
Yogi and and Boo-boo lived in Jellystone though so I won’t have the pleasure.

“Discussing Intelligent Yahoos” That’s an impossible task
When the room is full of Yahoos who can one possibly ask.

“Don’t intend yielding” To anyone or anything
I won’t go on my knees to religious icon politician or king.

All words Meadowhead Bard.