Sometimes I think I live in a country of parrots and apes. Now over to the Judge of all that’s crass, banal and inane “The winner is “Can I get…..”
It doesn’t really surprise me that much to hear younger people saying it, their minds alas often still quite malleable, but to hear older people saying it, is just obscene.
I start my new job in a DIY shop soon, I fear it may not last long.

Two for day today, first an original, then something from the archive

“CAN I GET A COFFEE ?”

“Can I get a coffee?” How very impolite
It makes me raise my voice and say, “Please May I have….” for spite
Now I’m not a violent man, you know that’s not a lie
But when I hear that phase I want to poke them in the eye

There is a theory going round that it came from the Land of Crass
But we are not one hundred percent certain of that alas
Based on knowledge and research though and other things from that place
Including a certain president, I guess we have, well ! a pretty cast iron case.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

MANNERS.

“Can I get a coffee”
That makes me really mad.
You didn’t get that from your grandma,
Your mother or your dad.

You got it from the TV,
Or some other, vile machine,
You copied like a parrot,
I find that quite obscene.

If I worked in a cafe,
And you asked like that for coffee,
I’d say if you can’t ask politely,
Then you can buggeroffee!

It’s not only beverages,
You should ask for with manners,
But every other thing in life.
Including hammers and spanners.

The above can do damage,
You should treat me with respect,
So if you don’t ask correctly,
You know what to expect.

Most things in life are expensive,
But manners they are free,
So please say please and thank you,
When you need a coffee or a tea.

All words Meadowhead Bard.