Iv’e had on a few serious posts last couple of days, and my ratings have gone down, I can understand that, most people don’t really want to know what’s happening in the world they’d rather hide behind a screen Also, football is a particularly good distraction at the moment, on that note here’s a bit more nonsense.

THE INSTRUCTION BOOK

We needed a little cabinet wife and I, one with door and a draw, so we decided to visit a well known Swedish store. What a good ikea we thought at first, after all they’re not the worst. So we wandered in procession round this massive place, moving at a steady pace. Then we saw our cupboard to be, a hundred Pounds and twenty three.
This will do it’s about the right size, too high to bang ankles, too low to bang thighs. It’s got a draw for socks, a cupboard for pants, the top just big enough for a little plant.
When we got home, we opened the box, in which our cupboard, the one for socks. Here it is I said with glee the instruction book Ann come and see. We read it we studied it through and through, all about screws, we didn’t need glue. “Lay all the pieces out on the floor” so we took all our other furniture out of the door. All the pieces laid there neat, not much room to put our feet. “Fix part “A” onto part “B” using screws one two and three.
There it stood the first part of our creation, why does this shop have a bad reputation? “Fix part “C” onto part “B” using more screws one two and three. Part “B” this is the back, this just fastens on with tacks. “Fasten on the bottom with the little feet, it really was coming on a treat. Putting on the top was the next thing to do, “I’m just nipping to the loo” When I came back to work on our joy and pride, turned out wife was stuck inside.
So the fire brigade were duly called, with the safety aspect they were appalled. “How can you fasten the top on from inside?” Sweary words and more besides. Wife is now beginning to straighten out, no more Swedish stores for us no doubt.

All words Meadowhead Bard..